“If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.” Turkish Proverb
“Who speaks, sows; Who listens, reaps.” Argentine Proverb
“Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.” Publilius Syrus
Week 8’s Chapter: “Real Life Networking Tips” strikes me as one of the most philosophical chapters in the book. It speaks from a very generous stand-point – a way to approach people in the real world. It asks the question, “How can I be helpful to this person?” From what I’ve witnessed of Ariel, she lives in this philosophical stance. Take the fact that we are all musing on her book. It’s evidence that she’s been a great help to all of us who are participating in this blogging challenge. By the same token, she’s modeling the fact that she’s also building her business.
We spend so many hours in front of our computers now. (I literally dream about drafting emails some nights… ) In some ways, the art of speaking to someone, face to face, is well – an art that perhaps some of us need to brush up on – myself included.
It seems to me that the key is to let people talk about themselves. Ask an open ended question and see where it takes you. It’s an instinctual thing – human interaction. Sometimes I’m pretty good at it – but I find it’s necessary, when talking to people whom I don’t know, to be as relaxed and receptive as I can be. It isn’t always easy. Being in a setting where people have a glass of wine in hand is usually helpful…
I’ve heard that if you want to gracefully insert yourself into a conversation, it helps to go up to groups of 3 people. (It isn’t wise to try to talk to 2 people who are obviously engaged in a discussion.) There is also research that has been done that proves that 5 people is the magic number where conversations will always divide into smaller groups. Next time you’re at a dinner party of 4 (or 5) – take a moment to observe how often things break into smaller talks.
Another tip that helps is to wear something that might be a conversation starter; maybe a hat, or a cool piece of jewelry, something brightly colored… something like that. It sometimes helps others to break the ice with you!
After building rapport and exchanging emails or cards (of course – have a good business card), it makes sense to maintain a graceful standpoint in following up. If I’ve managed to make a good connection, in person, I find people are usually open to being added to my email list.
The biggest goal in networking is to be memorable. Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
One final thought. A real touch-stone, for me in life, is something that Franz Kafka said. When I’m wondering what to do or say or whatever – I try to remember his words. “Remain… listen. You need not even listen, simply wait… learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”