and heard… This is no small thing. It’s what we long for — from when we are very small children. My clarity of purpose is crystalizing.
what I used to do;
— I used to sheepishly assume that other people’s opinions were more valid, or more important, than my own.
— I used to doubt my self-worth based on hearing “mostly nothing” in response to my work.
— I used to question “my voice”, as a songwriter, when that internal voice was the one I most needed to listen to — the one I most needed to trust.
No more.
I microblog therefor I am.
My thoughts are with the people of Ukraine today. I can’t imagine being at that bleeding edge — on the heals of the global crisis we’ve all endured.
Words fail me. Still, I put this few together as a small cry — that the war will be reduced to a battle — and that it will spell the “beginning of the end” for the perpetrator.
deep linear focus
My ability to focus has been eroding. Strangely, with all the “connectivity” promised through technology, sometimes, my thoughts are reduced to evaporating cognitive “sound-bites” that disappear as quickly as they occur to me — as soon as they are uttered — in my brain.
I tell myself; there is value in an internal echo-chamber. There is value in repetition. No two moments are the same. The challenge is to seek out things worth repeating — things worth internalizing — things worth saying.
I put the phone on airplane mode. I seek deep linear focus.
Little by little, I trust the moment.
When it comes from that place, I trust the utterance.
watersheds
Water collects, builds higher and higher — drop by drop. It overflows suddenly and drains out in a new, unforeseen direction. Until it breaks, we don’t know where it will go. Trust; it will break.
“who am I playing this for?”
The central questions will ring through when one is listening. I heard the question, “Who am I playing this for?” — and the answer rushed in, “Myself.”
endure
Endure through change. My father, Edmond Roy McMath died on January 31st, 2020 — weeks before the world changed. He always told me to “press on” — to endure. This post is for him.
process
Process is more important than what one makes. I know less about “where I’m going”, now, than I used to think I did. I can’t go where I’ve already been. Can’t go back; I can only go forward.
imitation
Artist On Kawara inspires me to imitate his daily processes in the digital realm. Through his inspiration, and by my own instincts, I will find my way to honor the day.
2022
“I got up…” = Tweet.
“I went…” = Instagram.
“I am still alive.” = Blog.
“Today” = Songs. Poems.